Monday, June 13, 2011

You Died (You're Gay)

It is with a heavy heart that I must make note that another of our ranks has lamentably passed away.  Seth Putnam, of the fabled and arbitrarily offensive Anal Cunt, has apparently died of a heart attack.


I remember listening to Anal Cunt when I was just a lad.  At the time it was the most extreme and offensive thing that me and my friends could dig up from anywhere.  One of us had an old cassette tape or something, and we would take every opportunity to blast the shit out of it.  Interestingly enough, none of us actually even liked the music.  To me, it was always a mishmash of garbled, grinding noise with hilarious song titles, and the song titles were what I really gravitated toward.  It's fun when you're a ten-year-old to rock the shit out of songs about retards and peoples' dumb families and buttfucking and stuff, and Anal Cunt never disappointed.

As with the passing of all of our metal royalty, there have surfaced several Seth Putnam stories that are particularly juicy and interesting; indeed, it seems that he was as ridiculous and over-the-top as his music would indicate.  One post over at The Living Doorway seemed to sum him up pretty well (and it has a strikingly similar title as this article), so if you haven't checked that shit out, you should.  It's completely ridiculous.

So, Seth Putnam, I will miss you, but you will live on through all of us when we put on those old cassette tapes that have the name of the band scratched out so that our parents wouldn't immediately throw that shit away.  I raise my proverbial drink (I wish it was literal, but I'm lamentably at work and not at home doing some daytime drinking) to you and bid you adieu.

As a fitting eulogy for the man, I'll leave you with something that my best friend Nick texted me yesterday:

"The singer of Anal Cunt died.  I'm hoping for a tribute album called 'You Died (You're Gay)' or 'Having a Heart Attack is Gay.'"

This is why I want Nick to be alive to do the eulogy at my funeral.

Some other touching memories of Seth Putnam that I've come across over the course of my daily rummaging:

"i remember smoking weed with AC back in '06...they were really gay"

"giving a shit is gay"

"That's the most disgusting name for a band I've ever heard!"
-My wife

This is not to say that he was not a person, of course, and his ridiculously early death reminds us all to live the way that he did, indiscriminately firing racial epithets at people in the audience and calling everybody gay for fun.  My heart goes out to his family.

Godspeed, Seth Putnam.

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