Monday, May 2, 2011

Welcome to D-Beat Week

Repeat this measure ad nauseum forever.

I know what you're thinking.  You're thinking "Hey asshole, I've read all of your posts a million times.  I think you're so handsome and cool and have impeccable taste in music."  Thank you, and you're right.  But I do, however, think that it could be validly argued that every week in D-Beat Week on this blog.

I wouldn't necessarily disagree, either.

However, I've got a shit ton of D-beat stuff that I've been meaning to post about, so I decided that another theme week was in order.  And since my other theme weeks have gone over so swimmingly, it seemed apropos to make it an official week by listening to, talking about, and espousing the virtue of my very favorite beat via my good old friend, the Interbung.

Some of you might be asking, "What is the D-beat?  I don't understand!"  The D-beat refers to the drum beat that was made famous by the band Discharge (there seems to be some disagreement about this on the Interhole, but since I've never heard anything about the other sides of the argument, I assume that they are misinformed, false, ungrim, and faggy).  That picture above is the D-beat notated on a treble clef.  For my non-musical readers, follow your nose to hear the D-beat in action.

That first beat that kicks in?  FUCKING D-BEAT!

Usually the easiest way to identify a D-beat band is by looking at their name.  Usually the prefix "Dis-" will be placed prominently in front of another word with which, according the the conventions of the English language, make no sense.  It's not uncommon for bands to be ham-fisted in their placement of the prefix; take the bands Disfear and Dishammer for example.  The band D.I.S. (who I wrote about in a very early post) is another good example, though officially D.I.S. stands for Destroyed in Seconds.

And since those are the only really good examples that I can think of offhand, I guess you can say that examining the name of a band isn't that good of a way to identify a D-beat band.  There are, after all, plenty of other totally crusty bands that have names that are misleading in the absence of "Dis-" from their monikers.  I guess I could have written that above paragraph like I did, realized that the information I gave was not actually as accurate as my brain suggested it was before I wrote it, and then simply deleted the paragraph.  But I like to give people an insight into my mind a little more often than the average "writer" ever would (and I do think of myself as a "writer," with the word placed firmly in quotation marks).  Also, I don't like my posts to be so short that I don't leave myself enough space to insert penis jokes and references to the myriad dumps that I take.

In other words, I don't like to limit myself to just saying things that are accurate.

Anyway, you'd better saddle up, because this whole week is going to be a flurry of D-boners.  It's going to be a torrential downpour D-jizz.  It's going to be a whirlwind of throbbing, veiny, purple drumbeat-specific boners.

Also, you should expect to see the word "boner" plastered across your computer screen, because it's about to get real bonery up in this motherfucker.

Boner boner boner.  See?

So sit back, relax, and allow me to expose my D-boner to you (but not if you're under the age of 18.  I don't want to have to introduce myself to my neighbors).

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