1) Joke about penises.
2) Saying that I did something that I have never done and won't because my wife would hit me, and she hits like a man.
3) Auroboros rules.
This is what the outline for this article looks like; I'm having a really difficult time getting past it. I first read about Auroboros on Metalsucks a couple of weeks ago, and since I'm a Baroness superfan (the restraining order the band put out against me hangs on my wall as proof of my devotion), I was very excited to see what Brian Blickle is up to since leaving Baroness before Blue Record came out. Rob Moore from Salome is also in Auroboros, giving the band an extra bit of notoriety and a supergroup feel, but I was never removed from a Salome show for attacking their singer and stealing a lock of his beard hair. I'm a Baroness man. As such, I'm more interested in what Blickle is doing. And truth be told, since I've never heard any of his playing outside of Baroness, I didn't know what to expect riff-wise from Auroboros; I was really curious about how big of a hand Blickle had in developing that wacky Baroness sound. Did he write a bunch of riffs that made it onto Red Album? Or was he a hired gun-type, hanging out with bros and playing tunes that he wasn't opposed to but not so artistically invested in (I've been there)? Turns out, it was the former.
Or at least it would seem that way.
Auroboros (to beat a really trite and obvious comparison into the ground) sound like what Baroness could have been if John Baizley wasn't a fancy pants artist. They're a more aggressive and visceral band with a clear stylistic similarity to Mastodon and a heart for that bizarro southern sludge sound. And I'm not talking about that Eyehategod "we suck but people still really like us for some reason" sludge; I'm talking about something that is slow to mid-tempo with good riffs (!), solid production (?!?), and really good clean singing (!!!!!?!).
And Auroboros is epic in a really weird way, like an adorable LOL cat asking for a cheeseburger, riding on the back of a stampeding elephant that is crushing a midsized village with its elephant fury. But the twist is that the elephant has been slighted in the past and this is total Liam Neeson-style righteous revenge. The humans are the villains!
Oh I'm sorry, do I not look badass? Because I just got done killing a bunch of people.
Like some kind of elephant Liam Neeson, Auroboros wreak their awesome havoc against people for some reason, and they do it with style that is clearly reminiscent of that one band that Blickle was a member of and the other band that they were always compared to.
I'm trying not to beat the Baroness comparison to death here, but if you listen to the music you'll see what I'm talking about.
And it's not a bad comparison, either. I love this demo, and I look forward with butterflies in my stomach, because if Auroboros keeps going the way they are, I'm going to have to start stalking yet ANOTHER great metal band. I know that probably sounds pretty good for the guys from Trap Them (review here and here), but what it really means is that I'll probably have to really put down the money to complete my urban gilley suit and quit my job so that it'll stop getting in the way of rifling through the trash of bands that I admire.
The police profiler has gone on record as calling me "socially awkward and narcissistic." I'm so sick of that guy!
At any rate, you should go to the Auroboros Bandcamp and download their demo for FREE, or for whatever amount of money you're willing to give them. Since this is the interbung and you're reading this, we'll just nod our heads subtly and understand that we aren't paying for this awesome music, right?