Thursday, March 17, 2011

SXSW Itinerary

Dogsitting is a pain in my balls.  I've been frantically running back and forth between my apartment and some friends' house to make sure their dog is still alive (I also have to sleep there for some reason), and the pace is catching up to me.  Honestly, I wish that maybe this all happened a week earlier or two weeks later, but what the hell am I going to do?  My buddy wishes that his dog could stay alive during his snowboarding trip, and I'm his genie in a bottle.


I realize that I could have brought the damn dog over here, but he's the kind of dog that just kind of pisses places for no good reason, and his dog door allows people to be gone for longer than an hour at a time.  I don't have a dog door, and I just got a nice new couch that only I can befoul with bodily excretions.  Also, that dog is a pain in the ass.

Hopefully normal posting will resume on Monday, with pictures and stories of SXSW failures and glories.  Until then, I've outlined a tentative itinerary for tomorrow and Saturday, so that if you were so inclined you could follow me around.

I know that nobody is interested in that, though.

9:32-Take the southbound train into downtown.
11am through 12pm-Wander around aimlessly; think long and hard about my decision to arrive as early as I did.  Eat a granola bar out of boredom.
12 through 1:30-Catch the Maryland Death Fest in Austin showcase; watch The Red Chord and Trap Them.
1:30-Follow Trap Them out of the venue; attempt to be stealthy but totally fail.
1:41-Attack Brian Izzi and steal a lock of his beard hair for my creepy hair shrine.
1:42-Flee the scene
2:02-Find The Red Chord; follow them around dressed as a grackle
2:03-Impromptu crime against The Red Chord.  I love to improvise!
2:04-Flee the scene
2:22-Meet up with dudebros and drink heavily despite the early time and lack of a ride home.
2:30 through 3:31-Lions of Tsavo show; attack Daine and steal a lock of his beard hair for my creepy hair shrine.
4:02-Realize how much fucking beard hair I have on my person; drunkenly dump it all in the gutter, resolving to restart collection after nightfall
4:04 through 4:51-Drink heavily; tussle Van Damned's hair until he punches me in the stomach.
4:59 through 5:16-Period of the day set aside for relentlessly making fun of the Artist Formerly Known as the WZA'd.
5:16-Drinking and watching Castevet or Batillus or something
6:18 through 1:00am-Fuzzy period of concerts and walking; somehow get lost and then find the party again.  Lose shirt for a while but then regain it without remembering how.  Stephanie Farinelli takes lots of pictures that are hilarious and embarassing.
1:00am through 9:00am-?
9:00am (Saturday)-Wake up somewhere with the feeling that my wife is/is going to be angry with me
12:30pm-Band practice
3:00-8:00-Feel glad that band practice is over; nap and ibuprofen, resolve not to drink as much tonight.
9:00-Get to The Dorm (on 6th Street) with guitars and manpurse.  Feel embarrassed for how early I showed up.  Wonder how I've managed to never notice this venue (if it's an actual venue).  If it's a field, wonder how I managed to miss this field.
11:something-Play a show to what I assume will be a tiny crowd
12:something-Drink just about as much as I did the night before.

Regular posting begins again on Monday.  Hope to see you all on the streets.  If you see me, ask about the Chug Life, beekeepers, or my couch.  I love to talk about those things.

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